Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Starbury's: What's not to like?

Dave Zirin asks the question whether or not Stephon Marbury's new Starbury shoe is really promoting social justice. Regardless, Stephon Marbury, often lauded as the poster boy for what's wrong with the NBA, has taken a step in the right direction.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Art of the Scowl

Most everyone can do it, I mean it's a simple contortion of the muscles in your face, however few have perfected it.
that's right, the scowl, defined simply as the contraction of the brow in order to express anger or disapproval. And nowhere is the scowl used more often than in the worlds of sports and politics. Consider this, both of these arena's currently have the two preeminent scowlers of our time-Dick Cheney and Bill Cowher. At first glance their scowls may look indistinguishable, yet a closer look reveals distinct differences.
Cowher's scowl seems more genuine than Cheney's, his is a classic scowl which is solely intent on eliciting fear in the victim. Cowher seems capable of unthinkable acts when that scowl is strewn across his face. So much so that I wouldn't be the least bit surprised that we find out Cowher was the driver of the car that hit Ben Roethlisberger (just to make absolutely sure he doesn't ride again).
On the other hand Dick Cheney's scowl seems contrived, as though he accidentally shoved something up his ass as a child and can't get it out. However, that's what makes Cheney's scowl so scary, the fact that the scowl is almost always present (Cowher's is dependent upon the situation) means its a reflection of his inner self. Cheney's scowl is as cold and dismissive as Maurice Clarret's new digs.
The question remains, who's scowl scares you?

Monday, September 18, 2006

Beer League Softball and President Bush

My friends and I recently became part of a 40-team slow-pitch softball league (and yes we do find the enjoyment of beating up on overweight 40-somethings a little strange). However, while playing in the league I realized that the entire Bush presidency has become one six-year-long beer league game.
I've come to understanding that beer league softball was primarily invented as a reaction to the increasing popularity of physical activity. If there is such a thing as a "non-active" activity, this has to be it. For instance, beer is consumed before and after games as though prohibition might suddenly be enacted again (I don't know of another sporting event where it might be to your advantage if your drunk). The game itself resembles...well it really doesn't resemble anything except fat drunk people trying to run. Winning takes a backseat to the utter joy the team feels after a team has to forfeit because we scored too many runs. However, I noticed that the losing team is almost always unfazed by the loss, one, because their still drunk and two, because all they want to do is drink more.
So how is this like the Bush Presidency? Well, first of all I'm almost certain I saw Bush playing for one of our opponents, though it could have been Barbara (they look like twins when you’re a few deep). On a more serious note, I feel as though I've been watching one of these games since Bush was first elected. Similar to the "pre-softball game" drinking, Bush engaged in a "pre-presidency" drinking binge, and that's not good. The decisions he has made while president are eerily similar to the decisions a drunk guy makes when running the bases, usually questionable, sometimes dangerous and occasionally just dumb. Bush's social and economic policies have often resembled these bloated men rounding third and having no shot whatsoever at scoring the run. What's worse is that Bush's team usually wins and has the unbridled fortitude to challenge teams from other countries, yet what they don't realize is that they don't care if the lose as long as they can drink afterwards.
Obviously, this analogy had very little practical application (if at all) between the world of politics and the world of sports, yet it demonstrated the association between politics and sports have by relating two universal realities.